New Idea: Life Caddie

It is raining today. Heading out for our morning commute, Wife drops her coffee. Seems the umbrella was enough to tip the scale on what is a manageable load to manage carrying.

Slipping into her seat, she declares her need for a 'Life Caddie'.

Good god damn. This is a great idea. I know in there are various forms of this role being performed daily: movie stars have assistants, politicians have handlers, and mob bosses have their Hench men... but a Life Caddie?

Someone to hold your umbrella, and carry your shit. Light your cigars and advise you on the ferocity of the wind. You know, among other things. The possibilities...

The wonderful thing is that we all have a need for one, or at least a want. A want in my world is principally the same concept as a need, just more expensive.

I would like my Life Caddie to be a crotchety old man. A dirty-joke-telling-surly-smells-like-booze-and-over-ripe-apples-and-wears-a-page-boy kinda guy. Someone who is at my door at 5 am, just waiting.

Anyway, the commute was uneventful, we arrived on schedule, it was raining harder now...

As she was getting out of the car, Wife dropped her purse in a puddle. All she said was, "Life Caddie."

And that's all she needed to say.