Vitamins

Something you may not know. The fingernails on my left hand seem to grow slightly faster that those on my right. This is a bit disconcerting, but mostly makes my trimming schedule awkward. Hell, at least my face is somewhat symmetrical. That is why they say Denzel is so attractive. Because his face is perfectly symmetrical.

Denzel and me. That's what they say.

As for my feet. Well, I fear beach weddings. It is a whole other level down there, man. I gross myself out. I'm thinking about inventing something called Bed Shoes. I think the name says it all.

Anyhow. I am pretty sure that due to my pharmacopoeia of vitamins — all of which I take nightly because I am getting old and dying from the inside — that my wish for slower production of protein and keratin is nothing more than a pipe dream.